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Young revert living the cutie life while trying to keep her heart as soft as possible, iA.

I was assaulted

I know I went quiet seemingly out of the blue, but the reason is very sad and upsetting for me to think about even now:

I was physically assaulted one month ago at work by a male co-worker. 

This past month was the darkest and most soul-crushing time in my life, but I'm happy to say I went through hell and came out stronger in the end, alhamdulillah.

I'm not going to go into detail about what happened for confidential-reasons, but mostly for my own sanity. If I wrote in great detail what happened and how it effected me then (and continued to effect me even today), it would do more harm than anything else. So I'm sorry if you clicked on this hoping for all the morbid details.

So what happened?

Long story short: A man I worked with threatened me and put his hands on me and when I tried to call my Darling for help, this man hit me to try and keep me quiet. 

For a long time, I couldn't sleep or eat and felt a constant sense of anxiety and nervousness. I even found myself racked with guilt, asking myself if there was anything I did to make this man think I was the perfect victim. I always try to be friendly to my co-workers and I've been told countless times that I'm so sweet and nice. I didn't treat this former co-worker any different than any of my other co-workers, so why did he target me? I know I'll never know the reason why or how long he was planning it, but I've made my peace with this.

I've always been a really nervous and anxious person, but the past three years, I've felt increasingly safe and secure. My Darling is a big, strong man at six feet tall and everyone at work knows we're together. Everyone that used to bother and mess with me started leaving me alone and I felt at ease. When everything first happened, it just felt completely surreal and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. After all, that man knew I was my Darling's sweetheart, so how could this really be happening? Almost immediately, my stomach sunk and I felt sick when he gave me my answer by threatening me of what he'd do to me if I told my Darling what he'd done. I made an excuse and hid in the bathroom before trying to make it to the front of my store where there were plenty of people, desperately dialing my Darling only for him to shove me and bump into me and threaten me again. All of a sudden, all of the security and safety I'd felt these three years were yanked away like when Snoopy steals Linus' blanket. It had never occured to me that someone who wait for one of his days off to ensure he wouldn't be around to help me and it was a sickening realisation.

It's been over a month now and I'm just now starting to feel like myself again and healing enough to finally blog again, alhamdulillah πŸ€²πŸΌπŸ’• 

I know that I'll never be the same again and I've already noticed myself being less trusting and even less friendly. My Darling has become much more protective and worried about me and always makes sure to check on me throughout the day and make sure I'm ok, masha'Allah. 

I'd like to thank everyone for continuing to support me and my blog and still be here for me ♡ I promise to get back on schedule and I have lots of good ideas I want to write about, in sha Allah~♡

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