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Young revert living the cutie life while trying to keep her heart as soft as possible, iA.

πŸ’ Thoughts on Love πŸ’

As I'm sure any of my readers know, I'm in a relationship with an older man, who I lovingly refer to as My Darling. He's the love of my life and the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. The thing that always strikes me when I see my friends with their partners is how different people my age treat relationships.

If I'm being perfectly honest, it strikes me as completely bizarre.

On one hand, they tell me how much they wish they had a relationship like mine and how much they envy the love my Darling and I share. But on the other hand, they break up with their partners for seemingly nothing. Relationships take a lot of work and effort and I think people forget that and just think there's some kind of fairy dust you can sprinkle for a perfect relationship. The first three months or so are wonderful and everything seems perfect, but once the "honeymoon phase" is over, you have to decide whether you will put in the hard work required to make a relationship last or give up. Now, I've only been with my Darling for two years, but I have some advice that I think will help with any relationship!

My Darling and I have fights and arguments and we have good days and bad days and days that are kinda in the middle. When things aren't so good between the two of you, it's important to remember all the good memories you've shared together. So often, people get angry or upset over some little thing and  just throw a two or five-year relationship out the window. You have to weigh the good with the bad and decide if it's worth working for. It might sound like a bit of a clichΓ©, but it's true! I have an underlining problem that makes my emotions a little unpredictable and very difficult at times, and I love My Darling for loving me through all the hard times. Whenever we're arguing or are struggling a little, I remind myself of all the times he held my hand and loved me and it helps weather any storm that comes our way.

Sometimes it can be hard with how different men and women are, but if you just try to look at things from their point of view and be as understanding as possible, you should be fine, in sha Allah. My Darling is very blunt and sometimes he can cut me with how sharp his comments can be, but I know he doesn't say anything out of anger or malice. Whenever he's said something that hurt my feelings or upset me, he's always immediately apologised and comforted me, masha'Allah. The thing to always remember is not to mock or belittle the other's feelings no matter how much you might not understand it. I remember once, I saw a bug when I was visiting my Darling and being deathly afraid of them, I burst into tears. Even though he didn't understand why I was so upset, I remember how he rubbed my back and held me while I cried rather than making fun of me πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—. On the other hand, I know my Darling hates the colour red so I try to avoid wearing it too often even if I don't understand how he can hate a colour so intensely.
It's the little things that count and this is especially true when you love someone, subhan'Allah. Sometimes, when it's very hot outside, he'll surprise me with a Coke or an icee just to show he's thinking of me. Last summer, it was so hot that people at work were dropping rapidly from heatstroke and we even had to call an ambulance a few times too. I know My Darling's from Pakistan and can handle the heat, but it worried me so much that I ended up buying him gatorade and bringing it for him everyday chilled so he wouldn't get sick. Sometimes, it can be as little as just holding hands or a hug πŸ‘«πŸ‘«πŸ‘« My Darling and I hold hands whenever he takes me anywhere and even though it's such a little thing, it makes a world of difference in my mind.

Finding the things you have in common and both enjoy is equally important even if it might not seem like it. One of the things we both love is driving around looking at older houses or driving around where there's lot of nature and trees. I especially love when he drives us by the big ranches out in the country and we look at all the cows and the horses. It's easier to enjoy each other's company if you're doing something you both enjoy.

It's equally important to indulge your partner in their interests or pleasures, no matter how mundane they may be (given of course, that it's nothing haram). I always make sure to take a picture of the current score whenever I see a football game on in the breakroom at work and send it to My Darling. He indulges my love of fish and lamb and lets me eat it as often as possible, masha'Allah. Where we live, they're both expensive and before we were together, I could rarely afford to eat any fish (and I'd never had lamb til he bought me some a few months in our relationship). He listens to me talk about telenovelas or the current shows I'm watching and the books I'm reading and I listen when he talks about his friends or his jobs.

I think that's more than enough today and to be honest, I feel a little silly to keep talking about this subject (•////•). I have a lot more tips or advice on the subject tho, so if you liked this blog post and would like another, please like, share or comment.

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