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Young revert living the cutie life while trying to keep her heart as soft as possible, iA.

My husband almost died πŸ˜₯

I know it's been a long time since I updated my blog, but as the title suggests, I've had a rough couple of months. My Darling husband had to be rushed to the emergency room where he was hospitalised for a few days, before being released. From there, it's been a rollercoaster of different doctors appointments, tests and a lot of prayers. 

My husband is the love of my life and I knew there was no way I could keep blogging while he was so sick and weak. I immediately took a prolonged break and spent the past eight months caring for him and I'm so happy to say that after many months, things are so much better. I'm so blessed and grateful to be able to say my Darling is finally at a place where he's almost back to normal ♡

All I can say is God is good, all the time. Allahu akbar πŸ’–

It all started back in October when my husband called me while he was at work to tell me (very casually I might add) that he couldn't breathe. Alarm bells immediately went off in my head and I asked him what he meant by that?! Was he simply out of breath? No. When he walked or lifted things or did anything that required any kind of effort, he felt like he was fighting to get any air in his lungs. It felt like a chill ran through my body and I told him we needed to go to the hospital! Unfortunately, my darling is a workaholic and adamantly refused. 

I got wildly upset and told him I would drive all the way to work and drag him to the hospital if I had to, but he just laughed at me. 

There's nothing wrong with me! I'm just getting old and it's normal for an older man to get breathless every now and then. You always worry too much over nothing!
Honestly, I felt at a loss. I knew he wouldn't go and he's over a foot taller than me so I knew there was no way I could physically force him to go... at a total loss of what to do and my mind wracked with worry, I did the only thing I could think of: I prayed. 

I asked God to please take care of my darling husband and to please keep him safe and let him live long enough for me to get him to a hospital πŸ€²πŸ»πŸ’• 

I remember crying and feeling hopeless. I knew he needed to go to the hospital, but I also knew I couldn't make him go. I laid down and ended up dozing off to sleep. When I woke up about an hour later, my phone was flashing with a few missed calls and text messages from my darling! It turned out that about a half hour after we'd spoken, he could no longer ignore his breathlessness and had panicked. He wanted me to come get him and take him to the hospital right away! I called him right away, but he'd already talked himself out of his panic and decided to sleep it off. He promised that if he still felt bad the next day, then and only then, would he let me take him to the hospital.

I was so scared of what would happen and so I prayed again. I prayed with my whole heart and soul,
Ya Rabi, please save my husband. Please protect him and don't let him die in his sleep. Let him live long enough to make it to the hospital. Ya Allah, please protect my husband for only you know how much I love him.
I called him first thing in the morning, and he told me that he still felt very bad but still insisted on going to work. Frustrated and scared of what would happen, I lied and told him I'd already called work and told them he was far too sick to come in. "So there's no reason to even go to work! Now, I'm coming to pick you up and take you to the hospital!" 

And can you believe this? This man insisted on taking a shower and spending far too long picking out his clothes before he would let me finally take him to the hospital! 

When we finally got there, we got a little lost. There were two parking lots with three separate entrances and multiple floors @---@ it was all a bit too much and we walked all over the place trying to find our way to the ER. Finally, a nurse sent us to the third entrance (after we tried the other two first) and he was hooked to a heart monitor. 

Almost immediately, the alarms started going off o.o! I asked them what that meant?! Was he ok?! But imagine my shock when the nurse and doctor in the ER brushed it off and told me, 'oh, it goes off all the time! He's probably fine!' I really didn't know what to think. They took blood, blood pressure and sugar and despite the heart monitor going off, we were sent back to waiting area. After a few hours, we were finally called to the back and I was so upset when they tried to separate us! I told them my husband is Deaf, but they still insisted-- until my husband started shrieking and screaming while signing at supersonic speed. He kept saying he wouldn't go back without me and that I had to come with him!!! 
I'm Deaf and my english is limited! How can you separate me from my wife?! 
Almost immediately, they relented and we were allowed to go back together.

After some x-rays and a cat scan, we were ushered into a room and waited for what felt like hours. He was annoyed at me for forcing him to go to the hospital and was dozing off. We'd already been there for at least six hours, so we figured there must not be anything seriously wrong. After all, didn't they always rush you in if you were really sick? 

In a few minutes, our world turned upside down. 

A doctor came in and told us he was to be hospitalised immediately. I felt confused. And maybe my face showed it despite my mask, because she added, "Your husband has dozens of bloodclots throughout both his lungs." It felt like I'd been dunked in ice water and I honestly felt like I couldn't breathe. I asked if she was sure? He'd gone to work the day before and he didn't seem sick. Now it was the doctor's turn to look confused. She asked us if that was true? Did he really go to work with around 40 bloodclots in his lungs?! When we both confirmed it, she told me that he had a bloodclot called a pulmonary embollism. And then she told me most people die from just one. She couldn't believe he'd walked in on his own and seemed fine and really couldn't believe he'd gone to work! I mentioned the heart monitor had gone off and she told me, "Yes, your husband is basically having a mini heart attack. This is very serious."

I felt even more shocked. We were immediately transferred to a hospital room and I tried my hardest to keep a calm face and told my husband that he had multiple bloodclots in his lungs, but everything was going to be ok, in sha Allah. There was absolutely nothing to worry about. I remember smiling at him and getting him settled into his room and feeling like I was going to burst into tears at any moment. After he was settled in with his dinner, I promised to come back first thing in the morning and we kissed. Not sure if I would him again, I told him how much I loved him and said goodbye.  

My husband ended up being hospitalised for three days and the first two were so upsetting. They found even more bloodclots up his whole right leg and his oxygen level kept dropping and setting off the alarm. It was heartbreaking to walk in that first day and see him hooked up to dozens of machines and an iv with multiple heart monitors on his chest 😰 I'd never thought I could be a widow at such a young age, but the idea of living without my husband absolutely broke my heart. I prayed all day everyday that he would get better and I asked all my friends to please pray for him too. All of my friends prayed for him, people from every single religion were praying and thinking of him. I prayed for a miracle. I begged God to cure my husband. 

My darling was so dangerously sick, his brother and sister-in-law booked a flight from up north to see him. I found myself unable to sleep. Almost every hour possible, I was up at the hospital holding his hand and praying. It seemed like every day I went, he was just as sick. 

On the third day, I received a call. They couldn't explain it, but my husband's bloodclots had completely disappeared, his oxygen levels had returned to 100% and even his blood sugar had dropped to a normal level! Tears immediately began to pour out of my eyes and I asked them if this was true? Yes, the doctor told me, and would I be able to come and pick him up to take him home? 

I rushed over as soon as possible and was so shocked when I walked into his room and saw him. For three days, he'd been connected to a dozen machines and had lost his colour. He would just lay there. The first thing I saw when I went in was an empty room. All the machines and the iv were gone and my husband was laying in bed partially sitting up playing on his phone. When we saw me, he jumped up and kissed me ❤ Then, he asked me to sit down and told me he had to speak to me. What he told me next left me completely in awe.

He'd been in a lot of pain and struggling to breathe the day before, but had managed to drift to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, he'd been woken up and felt someone rubbing his head. He told me that he recognised the person rubbing his head and immediately felt at ease. Laying there with his eyes closed, he let this person rub his head and he felt the pain and struggle to breathe disappear. Instead of pain and fear, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. After a while, the hand on his head disappeared and after a few minutes, he opened his eyes and found no one there. Looking at the oxygen and heart monitor, the red alerts and turned green. 

My Darling looked at me with this look of peace on his face and asked me, "Do you know who it was?" I knew, but still couldn't say it. He just looked at me and nodded, "it was my mother. I knew when I felt her rubbing my head, because she used to rub my head like that as a child. Ammi saved me. I was so scared and so sick, she came and saved me." We both just held hands and were silent for a while. Later, when I told this story to a friend that's a deacon, he told me that it wasn't really his mother, but his guardian angel. I'm not sure which, whether it was his mother or an angel, but still, I'm grateful. Grateful and blessed that my husband was cured.

The next day, his brother and sister-in-law flew in and were completely flabbergasted when my husband picked them up at the airport. All I know is that Allah (swt) is also Al-Shaafi (the healer) and that he healed my husband and for that, all I can is alhamdulillahi alamin πŸ€²πŸ»πŸ’•

The past few months have been filled with more doctors visits than I can count, fights with the insurance company, medicine that must be taken twice a day, cat scans, and the sense that we've been given a second chance. For a while, we would take little walks to help my Darling regain his strength and he was on a diet of Carnation, Cream of Wheat, Oatmeal and Grits to help him get back to a healthy weight. This past month, it's finally started to feel like things are finally returning to a sense of normalcy even if our new "normal" is different from what we imagined for our future together. 

All I can say is I thank God for healing my husband and giving us a second chance to spend more time together πŸ₯²πŸ€²πŸ»πŸ’• I begged God for a miracle and he sent us one and for that I will always be eternally grateful for ❤ I ask everyone to please keep my husband in your prayers.  

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