Being an "Essential Worker" During a Pandemic is Beyond Exhausting

It looks like I've aged twenty years in three months, but it's just exhaustion

I know it's been a long time since I last updated my blog, but unfortunately COVID-19 hit me really hard and has all but consumed my life (as I'm sure it has most). I've mentioned it before, but I work in retail and that means I've been working longer shifts with fewer days off inbetween. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to still have a job and a steady income, but I didn't realise just how mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting it would be. 

So what's my life been like the past three months? 

 

My Darling and I went to see Cirque du Soleil right before everything started being cancelled and locked down and it was the calm before the storm. It was such a wonderful and magical night and I'm planning on writing a post about it, but it almost seems like a dream compared to the weird and strange world we're living in now. We went on March 10th and I've found myself happily thinking back on that night and find comfort in it ♡

Back to the present, everyone's hours have gone up by at least ten hours and even part-time workers are being scheduled almost forty hours a week. Before our days off were normally together, but now they're split up (sometimes five days apart). That would be hard enough on its own, but the most draining part has been the customers. Most are nice and understanding now, but at the beginming, me and all of my co-workers were screamed at, cussed out, pushed and just treated terribly. Customers were taking our own personal hand sanitizers and getting really rude and nasty when we told them it was our own personal sanitizer that we bought with our own money. 

It's still a little shocking to see myself in the mirror

I think the rudeness has been the worst part of it. That and the wastefulness. Grown adults scream and yell and throw temper tantrums if we don't have sanitizing wipees for the trolleys, but then when we have them they just completely waste them. We went through 1500 wipees in four hours. How? I've seen people take 10-30 wipees for one trolley, use one wipee and then throw them away. They take five for the trolley, then five per person then five more per person on the way out. Or they open the lid and literally take all of the wipees and leave. They say 'Oh, I don't want this! Someone else touched it!' and then throw that wipee plus at least one more away before getting more wipees. It's honestly so ridiculous and infuriating.

There's a limit on how many can come in at one time and like most places, you have to come in one way and out the other. People want to come in, but then act like the rules apply to everyone but 'not me!'. Why bother coming to a store or restaurant if you're not going to follow the rules? We're all fed up and stressed about what's going on, going out in public and screaming, threatening and cussing out workers for asking you to be polite and respectful is just uncalled for. I want things to go back to normal too, everyone does but until it does we all need to treat each other with respect and common decency. 

Back when all the shelves were empty, we got some hand sanitizer in and I got two small bottles for my parents and my Darling and had a man try to rip them out of my hands claiming he needed them more than me. Since I'm so short (4'10") and couldn't reach the top shelves, I had people coming up and taking the items I needed, because they saw I couldn't get to them. My parents are in the 60s and 70s and my grandfather is in his 90s and lives with us, so it was extremely upsetting for this to happen. Alhamdulillah for tall co-workers and for my Darling helping me to get what I needed and saving things for me ♡ Now things are much more stable, but it still feels upsetting to think about. 

Here's to hoping a vaccine is developed soon and we can all slowly go back to our normal lives, in sha Allah 🤲🏼💕