🖤💜 I'm Demisexual 🖤💜

Since today is #ComingOutDay, I thought it'd be the best time to talk about being demi-ace. It took me most of the life feeling confused and "broken" before I found out about being asexual, but when I still felt like I didn't fully fit in that peg, I learned about grey asexuality and demisexuality and it struck such a strong chord with me. 

I know there are a lot of people that don't believe demisexuality exists and think that demisexuals are just lying for attention, and while it still hurts when I hear those comments I've learned to just ignore it. Like Jinkx Monsoon famously said, 'it's like water off a duck's back.' 🦆🦆🦆 

I've never been able to tell if someone is attractive or not even though I know that sounds made up, but it's true. I'm sure we've all had it happen where a friend or co-worker shows you a picture of their crush or partner and even some random person online and start gushing about how hot and attractive they are 😍😍😍. Well, whenever that happened to me, I would just stare at the picture and wonder if we were seeing the same picture. The person they were showing me just looked like a person like anyone else, nothing more and nothing else. Sometimes I would just awkwardly change the subject, but most of the times I would just nod my head and give some vague response to seem interested. The only way I've been able to accurate describe it is imagine if everyone in the world was a ditto. You get shown a picture of another ditto and are told how hot they are and you just stare like 😶😶😶... because it's a ditto.... But no matter how hard you try to explain this, everyone looks at you like you're crazy and making things up.

That's what being asexual is like. 

Dittos. Dittos everywhere.

Then, imagine one day someone you've known for a long time walks into the room and suddenly! They look at you and transfer into your favourite Pokemon and you just sit there and stare like, 'is this real life...?' You look at everyone else and they still look the same, but when you look at old photos of your friend, you're surprised to see that look different in these photos too! That's what being demisexual is like. For me, I knew my Darling for three and a half years before one day, I just saw him one day and it was like, he'd turned into a shiny alolan raichu and I didn't understand why or how this had happened. People have spent the last three years telling me I'll realise I'm making a mistake and will "wake up" one day, but no matter who I look at, they're all look like dittos.

A lot of the mean and nasty comments I hear from people is that they say demi-ace is just "being a normal person", and while it's true that there's no one definition of "normal", how many people do you know spend years unable to see anyone as attractive or feel a single thing towards anyone and then, suddenly feel something for literally one person? I spent most of my life feeling as it something was seriously wrong with me and feeling broken only to realise that there was nothing broken about me. 

I know that there are always going to be people who spew hate and awfulness, but I'm happy being demi-ace and that's good enough for me 💖💖💖 I'm grateful for the more widely available access to information that gave me the answer to a question I had for so long.