On an almost daily basis, my Darling and I will talking over video chat and someone (sometimes a co-worker and often times a stranger) will see us signing and for some reason, feel they have to rush over, start waving or just standing behind/way too close to me just to stare at him. Whenever I ask them what the hell they're doing, they always get annoyed and tell me I don't need to be so rude and that obviously they were just interested that we were signing and that sign language is just so beautiful, that they didn't see anything wrong with being rude. Every time this happens, I want to ask them if they see hearing people talking on the phone and rush over to them, grab their phone and start yelling, 'Hi!' repeatedly to the person on the other end. What they're doing is just as aggravating, annoying and rude, but somehow they don't see it that way. Even worse tho, is when we're walking together talking and people decide to yell random shit at us and when I get pissed, tell me, 'It's just a joke!! Lighten up!'
All that is aggravating and makes me really angry, not just because they're being rude af but because of how disrespectful it is. Signing is still seen as a novelty instead of what it actually is: speaking a language just as complex (if not more) as a spoken language. People just don't understand or seem to care that they're making it difficult to focus on what's being said or that they're completely stopped the conversation. Unfortunately, those things are seen as a normal occurence, but the other day, something really infuriating happened:
My Darling and I were talking on the phone and I was showing him some little bathroom mats trying to decide which one I wanted. All of a sudden, a co-worker started screaming at me, 'WHAT ARE DOING?! HUH?! TAKING PICTURES?! HUH?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!' followed by hysterical laughter from them. I was already aggravated, but tried to remain calm and responded that (as they already knew) I was talking on the phone with my Darling. We hadn't picked out a mat yet, but I decided to come back later and walked away from where that co-worker was to another aisle a few feet over. I put my phone on the shelf leaning against something and was telling him what had just happened. I was upset and annoyed and he listened and was telling me that that co-worker always bothers him when he's at work, almost insisting he stop whatever he's doing to wave to them no matter how busy he is. I was starting to feel a little better after sharing how I felt and listening to his similiar experience and was so focused on talking to him that I didn't hear footsteps approaching.
One minute, I was listening to my Darling talking about his business trip and the next minute, someone was almost pushing me out of the way. My co-worker, apparently not content with just heckling me, had decided to follow me and seeing me still talking to my Darling, had decided to rush over and almost shove me out of the way just to say 'hi'!!!! They hit me so hard and were leaning all of their bodyweight against me so it was hard to keep my balance and not fall over. But that wasn't the worst of it! Not realising (or not caring) that we were both completely fed up with their bullshit, they were wildly waving their arms around, yelling, 'Hi! Hi! Hi!' and refused to stop or leave until my Darling waved back. He was visibly angry and refused to even acknowledge them, but once it became obvious that they weren't going to stop until they got a wave back, he finally and angrily waved back. With this, my co-worker started laughing and proudly bragged to me that they were "really good friends" with my Darling and that he always stopped what he was doing to say hi!
I wanted to tell them that not only were they not good friends with him, he had just told me how annoying they were and that he only waved because they wouldn't leave him alone til he did! But I was so angry that I could feel my blood boiling and I knew if I opened my mouth, I wouldn't be able to just say one thing and would probably chew her out. So I just grabbed my phone and walked away and didn't stop until I was two departments away. A mixture of anger and feeling upset ran through me and I could feel my eyes tearing up. My Darling and I talked about what happened and I told him how fed up I was and that I couldn't actually believe that'd just happened. He was angry, no hurt feelings and feeling upset at all, and angrily demanded to know who that was and why did they do that?! I told him it was the same co-worker that bothered him everyday and he was shocked and annoyed to find out they were telling everyone the two of them were friends.
Three days later, I posted a status on Facebook asking my friends to give us the same respect as a hearing couple, and to please stop interrupting our conversations just to say 'hi'. That co-worker commented three times to say they didn't see anything wrong with what they did and that they always did it to any Deaf co-workers in the past and added that those co-workers always insisted on saying 'hi' so what was the problem? Also I was wrong, my Darling couldn't possibly be mad since he always waved at them at work. When I replied and tried to explain that actually, he was angry and wanted to know who they were and why they decided to try and shove me out of the way to wave at him, they just responded that that was funny.
Honestly, for a little, I sat there looking at their comment and thought of trying to talk some sense into them, but then, I just looked at myself and couldn't remember why we were even friends. They didn't respect my religion, sharing islamophobic posts calling islam a disease and commenting on my pictures telling me to "take off that thing on your head and show your beautiful hair!". They were sharing racist posts about my race and culture and they clearly didn't respect my relationship, so why was I putting up with this "friendship"? Instead of replying further, I just unfriended them and felt instantly better like a rock had been lifted off my chest.
It's been almost a week since and I know I did the right thing. If someone doesn't find anything wrong with rushing at someone like they're going to tackle them, they're not someone I want to associate with. I'm happy and blessed to say that the rest of my friends have been really respectful and understanding ever since ♡
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