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Young revert living the cutie life while trying to keep her heart as soft as possible, iA.

I got engaged! πŸ‘©‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨πŸ‘©‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨πŸ‘©‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨

I'm so happy and blessed to be able to share this new with you!!! x3 Readers of my blog will know I'm in a relationship with a wonderful and caring man that I lovingly refer to as My Darling. We've been together for two years, alhamdulillah and I'm so happy to be with him that it's like my heart is about to burst with how full it is. I know that when muslim couples get engaged and married, they tend to use the verse "And we created you in pairs" [78:8], and I'm sure I'll end up using it too when we do get married, in sha Aallah. For me, however, when I think of my Darling and our relationship, I think of a much different verse that might seem a little surprising for some, "And they planned and Allah (swt) planned and Allah (swt) is the best of planners" [3:54]. Why, you ask? For the fact that if you had asked me five years ago who I imagined myself being with or if I thought I would even fall in love with my Darling, I would've laughed and called you crazy. I never imagined seeing him as another but a sweet friend and I never imagined I would be with an older man, and yet, Allah (swt) put us in each other's lives and I cannot help but be amazed at his power. As I've stated, my Darling is older than me and I find it really amazing when I think of how he told me that he had a sudden urge to move to Texas for seemingly no reason. To think, if it weren't for that, we never would've met!

Everyday, I thank Allah (swt) for bringing us together and I can't imagine being with anyone other than my Darling~❤ I feel so blessed to be with the man I believe is my soulmate and I'm so excited to start on this new chapter in our life together, masha'Allah. 

I have very bad anxiety and it can cause any normal event to feel massively overwhelming and impossible to deal with, so you can imagine how I felt about getting engaged. It didn't help that everyone was shoving massive amounts of pressure on me and it led me to become extremely depressed and unhappy. My Darling doesn't like to do anything related to our relationship or me without asking me for my expressed consent and while I love that he respects me so much, it did lead to a bit of a problem: I was waiting for him to propose and he was waiting for me to tell him I was ready to get engaged. The result? We spent almost a year and half waiting for the other to make the first move!

When I finally breached the subject, I was met with relief and excitement on his end, and we originally decided to get engaged sometime before the end of last year. Unfortunately, my anxiety got the better of me and the not knowing when and where he would propose to me caused me to have a panic attack and we ended up pushing back the engagement indefinitely until I felt comfortable again. It took over half a year, but we finally sat down and discussed the subject and decided to actually set a specific date to prevent my anxiety from getting too strong and causing another panic attack, in sha Allah. Being the total romantic person I am, I obviously picked Valentine's Day as our engagement day since I thought it would be very romantic, but also because there was no way that he would forget when the anniversary was haha. For the most part, things were good and I got more and more excited as the date got closer and closer, but a month before, I suddenly got really nervous and found all my anxiety and stress hitting me at the same time. I even experienced "cold feet" and really wondered if I could go through with the engagement and if I was making the right decision. It goes without saying that a lot of tears were shed and I went through kleenex like it was going out of fashion. 

On the big day, I woke up feeling super nervous, but also excited. After all, this is what I'd been dreaming of and praying for for two years, and I couldn't help but feel nervously impatient for my Darling to get off of work. He'd told me he would get off at 13, so a little more than an hour early, I hopped in the shower to start getting ready, with the idea that I'd be ready and waiting whenever he called me to tell me he was on his way to pick me. So imagine my shock when I got out of the shower and saw that he'd called me twice and left messages!! It turned out he'd already gotten off work and was on his way to get me and was making sure I'd be ready when he came! :O My well thought out plan instantly went up in smoke and I started frantically throwing on my outfit and trying to brush and dry my long hair, that wasn't cooperating at all :s When I was in the middle of trying to basically throw my whole make up bag on my face, he called me to ask where I was and what was going on, I explained to him in a panic what had happened and he told me to calm down and that he'd just wait til I was ready (though I still rushed through everything). 

When I was finally ready, I ran out the door and found him waiting for me with a bouquet of roses, his face lighting up when he saw me. 

We both looked so nice on the day x3
We decided to go to Joe's Crabshack next to the beach since we both love to look at the sea, and it would be really convenient since we could go walk along the beach after we ate or just drive around and look at the water. It seemed like such a good day ahead of us, but unfortunately, things didn't go to plan. When we got there, we were sat down at a dirty table, but the waitress apologised and wiped it clean for us and we ate our meal. I got what was supposed to be salmon, but it tasted closer to whitefish or even tilapia, with a really strong fishy taste. I like almost all fish, but it was a little weird that the taste wasn't what I was expecting at all; he got shrimp and was happy with his choice, tho to be honest as long as he has rice, he's normally happy with whatever he eats. Unfortunately, I started to feel sick with really bad stomach pain and we decided to just go to a nearby walgreens for some medicine, and because I wasn't feeling good, he told me to wait right outside the restaurant and he'd bring the car around. 

I was busy looking at the waves (the restaurant was literally across from the beach) that I didn't notice a sketchy-looking man approaching me til he was already close to me. When I looked up, he was around two feet in front of me and I felt my blood run cold. He got in my face and began screaming that he needed money and how I better give it to me and I just froze and didn't move, speak or even blink. I just stared at him. I heard the car driving up and the man turned and ran away, almost getting hit by my Darling in the process. I ran to the car and got in and burst into tears, unable to speak while my whole body began shaking uncontrollably. He was obviously concerned and asked me what happened and what did the man say to me, and I told him that he had been trying to mug me. Instantly, his face turned and he began angry and asked me if the man had taken anything or put his hands on me and when I told him no, he calmed down and held and consoled me. The whole atmosphere and mood completely changed and he took me away from the sea, the whole time glancing at me concerned and holding my hand, rubbing it in a sweet effort to help calm me. 

Instead of spending the day at the sea as we'd planned, we spent it driving around the country, looking at the stretches of woods and ranches with all the cows and sheep. I'll admit, it wasn't the day I'd dreamed of, but once I'd calmed down and stopped crying, I felt so happy and so loved. Instead of just ending the date at the restaurant and dropping me off at home, he chose to drive me around and let me cry and get my emotions out and I love him for that. Even though our date was a short one, I can't deny that it was such a sweet gesture on his part and I'll forever love him for it. I feel blessed and thankful that the mugger didn't hurt me and I know that Allah (swt) was looking out for me that day, masha'Allah. We normally spend a good part of our normal dates just driving around looking at victorian-style houses or driving through the woods and looking at the trees, so it felt normal and comfortable. While the day was both the best and worst day of my life, I'm so blessed and happy to be engaged and I pray that Allah (swt) continues to watch over us, in sha Allah. 

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